Letting go is the hardest thing....

Well, its been quite a few interesting days since my last post. I have learned more life lessons, a few the hard way, and it seems like I have to learn all of life's lessons that way, but maybe that is just the way life is. Letting go is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, without a doubt. This is quite a statement considering some of the things I've done and places I have been. Having to just let someone go, and say"There is nothing more I can do" is one of the hardest things I have ever experienced. But, I have held onto this for so much longer than I should have. I have to let it go, it's the only way for me to stay sane. One amazing thing to me is how easy it is for one addict to pull another recovering addict back in. The picture in my mind of it is of all the souls in hell, trying to pull down that one soul that keeps fighting to get out. It seems to me that it's necessary in recovery to reach down every now and then and pull someone out, someone who wants to get out but just needs a hand. However, every time you do, you run the risk of being pulled back in yourself. Thats just the way I see it anyways. Im trying to figure out the way to balance this out, trying to help someone into recovery without getting sucked back into addiction. Maybe I am just not far enough into recovery yet to really do any good at this. Anyways, the girl is seriously killing herself every day, over and over again. It breaks my heart and my soul, and I have been worried that it will affect my sobriety because I care about her so much. I feel like I have to let her go, because my sobriety is more important than anything, for myself and for my children. However it's easier said than done. I will let her go though, because I have to. However should I hear her yelling, fighting to get out of the bottomless pit, I will more than likely turn around and give her a hand.